September 19th
I had a moment today of really feeling
the imminence of my leaving, several actually. This evening I sat
outside with Djeneba eating the first corn of the season (grilled on
a charcoal brazier for us by her teenager sister/nieces) and talking
about how some day she'd like to move up in the system and become a
pediatrician (she's an IB, one step above an AIS, but below an IDE
and then the pediatric attache). We watched Rashid play, giggling,
eating (and dropping) his corn, as we looked at Mariam's photos and
commented on the ones of ourselves. When Mariam and Mohamad got back
from buying juice she and Djeneba started talking in Moore. I
considered leaving but stayed, enjoying just being in the presence of
people who make me so genuinely happy to see them. I love that when I
see my staff or my ASCs for the first time after being away I just
feel so giddy, like my smile can't get any bigger because I'm so
happy to have the chance to exchange the same old greetings,
attempting to infuse them with the joy and warmth I feel so they know
that for me it's not just the same old rote speech, that I actually
want to know about their family and their health and their fields and
their work.
When the mosquitoes were getting thick
and it was getting dark I finally excused myself to come home and
drink my tea and read my book. I'm reading an anthology of travel
stories, and now have about 20 more places on my list of places I
want to visit. One was about Orr Hot Springs! I couldn't help but
giggle, I can't wait to go back someday. The one that got me out of
my book and onto my computer to write was a guy visiting Dubai,
describing his flight as he left. I remembered that I, too, will be
taking an Emirates plane and changing flights in Dubai, that I'm
about to embark on a series of flights that will be longer than any
trip I've ever taken. I guess LA to Sydney, Australia was the longest
single flight, but I'm going to have 3 flights on this trip of at
least 8 hours apiece (Ouaga to Adis Ababa to Delhi, then from Doha to London). And the thought made me really excited! Even the hassle
of air travel still holds a level of wonder and adventure that I
remember as a kid. Then the image of leaving the Ouaga airport for
the last time made me almost cry. I don't even begin to know how to
work out my feelings of being here, of preparing myself and my
friends for when I leave here. Every time someone asks and exclaims
over how soon I'm leaving I tell them (only half joking) that they
can't talk about it, it makes me too sad. Even the frustrations, the
delays, the annoying idiosyncrasies of being here – I'm going to
miss them. I'm going to miss searching frantically for PAM papers and
notebooks all over the CSPS, miss the fact that I can show up late to
anything knowing it will never start on time, miss the amusing
frustration of microphones that never ever work even though people
insist on still using them despite being totally incomprehensible to
the audience.
That last part actually takes me to
this morning. After breakfast I went over to the CSPS to help with
PAM distribution. Just as I was sitting down to start matching books
to papers, Major arrived and said that we were doing a presentation
at the CPL (the Maison des Jeunes) and that he was going to make all
the women go to that and come get their rations later. I, as always,
was resistant to this change in plans, but he seemed determined and
announced it and off they went. I helped move our papers and such
back inside, then biked off to meet them there. Lo and behold this
was a “conference”, a presentation of several hours to easily 100
women and their babies, about birth control. I declined to present
anything, the guy from Seguenega almost got booed for only speaking
French, but then I was handed several cameras and became the official
photographer. I also took some for myself, including a series of this
adorable toddler, maybe a year old, who seemed to be enthralled with
a beer cap, particularly putting it on his head and then trying to
toddle off until his mom gently grabbed an arm and pulled him back.
After it was over (and our supervisors
came and made us do part of it over for their benefit, for the 15
women still in the room waiting out the rain), I went and bought
gallettes from Alimata, who was thankfully feeling better (someone
had told me this morning that she was sick), then sat at home with
some jasmine tea and read while it kept raining. I left a bit before
15 to help with PAM, stayed there for a few hours, and then had my
time sitting outside with Djeneba and Mariam, talking, taking photos,
laughing. I love that I can have a morning full of boredom, an
afternoon full of frustrations, and still get to the evening after
sitting and talking with friends for an hour or two and remember my
day as happy and beautiful, even in the bored and the frustrating
parts.